


Wyoming

by saviorbrother



Series: The Twins Verse [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 18:17:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3457076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saviorbrother/pseuds/saviorbrother
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean wakes up in Wyoming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wyoming

Its over in Wyoming when it happens. Dean fucking wakes up. Or so he figures.

Jensen is curled up with Sam on the couch in their hotel room, watching a movie. Dad out seeking a new hunt. Dean cleaning guns at the table.

It was early in the morning. He woke up with Sam naked in his arms and Jensens arm draped over his hip.

It kind of hit him suddenly. He was fucking his kid brother along with his twin brother.

The idea wasn’t disgusting or revolting. Just extremely taboo and wrong.

And when he climbed from bed and Sam whined, begging Dean to come back to bed with them, he knew it was time for change.

"C’mere, Dean. The movie is over now," Sam smiles at him from the couch, Jensen nuzzling his neck.

Dean knows he’s been gone all day, stuck in his head about how he’ll break the news to them. It was always him, wasn’t it? Fucking shit up? This was good for him; his heart and soul. But what if Sam got a but older, in his twenties and resenting he and Jensen for this relationship?

What if he was disgusted in the end? What if he left them? That would break Dean and Dean doesn’t get broken, he breaks.

"You’ve been distant, big brother," Sam startled him, standing in front of him in his white shirt and boxers.

That sultry smile with its beautiful dimples wrench his heart and do things to his dick at the same time, which shouldn’t happen.

"Sam, Jensen. We—uh. We need to talk," Dean clears his throat, blinking hard.

Sam almost scoffs, he barely ever gets called Sam by the twins anymore. And they always call Jensen, Jen.

"What’s up?" Jensen sighs, looking over at him.

It makes Dean stand up and pace the room, itchy to get out.

"Dean?" That soft voice calling to him, and warm hands stop him as he turns back around.

He opens his eyes to look down at Sam and it burns. He burns. Those hopeful, loving eyes. This boy who has given him everything.

"I can’t anymore, Sam," his voice comes out softer than usual and Jensen mutes the TV.

"De, what’s wrong—" he doesn’t let Sam put a hand to his face, just grabs it midair.

"This thing that we got going, been going. It ain’t right, Sam."

He watches his baby brothers face crumble and his eye lashes flutter in disbelief.

"Don’t joke like that. Don’t you fuckin’—

Sam clutches Deans flannel in his shaking hands, pressing in close to him with teary eyes, frown in place.

"I’m not, Sammy. Its not good for us to be doing this—"  
“Don’t you fucking say that to me—”  
“You and Jen can keep on, I won’t say a word. I won’t judge, but I can’t be a part of it, Sam—”

Jensen stands up now and walks up behind Sam, trying to pry his hands from where he’s practically ripping at Deans shirts. Dean pushes past him, Sam fumbling after him.

"Sam, let go—"  
“I’ve given you everything. Every. Thing. I’ll keep giving you everything, anything, Dean. Whatever you want,” Sam says desperately, breath rushing in and out of his form.

He pulls at the back of Deans shirt, paws at his back, voice trembling.

"Mind, body, soul. Everything and anything, Dean. Just ask, I’m sorry for whatever I did—"

He turns and grabs Sam by the shoulders, shaking him.

"It ain’t right, Sam! We aren’t good! ‘M fucking my little brother!" Dean slurs, shaking the fat tears from Sam’s red eyes.

So pretty even when he cries.

"But, we’re alright. I want it, I wanted you both! I love you, I love you. God, I fucking love you both," Sam sobs, lip trembling as he cups Deans face frantically.

He’s trying to get his older brother to understand. Don’t leave him, don’t leave him and Jen.

"Dean, what the hell? What—why?" Jensen is behind Sam, so confused. Heart breaking for the kid. For himself.

"Man, we’ve talked about this, right? We both know its wrong," Dean shakes his head, Sam still whimpering helplessly as Dean tries to keep him from wrapping his long limbs around him.

Jensen remembers. But they never talked about really leaving Sam like this. Never said they were going to just tell him its over. But Jensen knows, he knows. He also knows he can’t leave Sam but he also can’t continue it.

"But we never said we’d do this. We’re you’d get this idea?" Jensen growls.

"You can’t just leave us like this—"  
“I’m not leaving, Sam. Just ending this part of our relationship, put back the way it should be.”

Sam looks up at him with a wet face, red lips, broken eyes. His boy is so beautiful but he cant love him like this anymore.

"But you told me you loved me, you told me—"  
“Now I’m telling you I can’t, Sammy,” Dean tries to walk backwards, needs to get out the door.

Sam keeps yanking at his shirt and grabbing at his neck, trying to reel him in.

"I want you to love me again! I didn’t ask you to leave me. I don’t want it to go back to before! I want now, I want you both!" Sam sounds selfish, but he’s there’s, always been Dean and Jensens.   
He wants to be owned by them forever, wants them to only love him and him forever. He deserves to have all that love!

"Sam, stop. Let me go, Sam. You’ve gotta—Sam!" Dean pushes him away and Jensen catches him.

"Don’t you leave, don’t fucking leave, Dean!" Sam yells behind him.

There’s a roar in his ears and a fire in his veins. He feels like he’s done some good today, damn hero, but his heart is burning down along with everything else.

He walks out the door and into the dark night, Sam screaming behind him.

"I deserve your love! I want to be loved. God, I love you, Dean! I fucking gave you everything!" Sam is screeching and fighting Jensen as he holds him tight to his chest.

"Why can’t I just have it all? Why can’t I have love? Why can’t I have something good, huh!" Sam sucks in deep breathes, sobbing as Jensen lays him on the bed.

Dean runs and runs into the night, breathes in deep like he did something right, like he feels it inside his burned out body. Like he’s coughing up the last ashes out of his soul that had tainted him in that fire from that night.

"Why doesn’t he love me, Jen? You love me right? You still love me?" Sam begs, cupping Jensens worried face above him.

"Of course, Sammy—"  
“Love me right now, love me forever. Love me, love me. Love. Me,” Sam begs, wrapping his long arms around Jensens neck, tries to pull him down for a kiss.

But Jensen refuses, he can’t. He won’t. He’s stuck.

Wrong and right. Love and fright.

"I can’t, Sam." Its a whimper as he pulls away.

And Sam goes stoic. Lets Jensen pull away.

He goes and locks the door and turns out the lights. He climbs into bed, bones shaking. The sheets don’t help the feeling of something missing.

"I deserve to be loved."

Sam’s whisper in the night.

—-

A month later and Sam kissed a kitsune that the twins and Dad were suppose to be hunting.

She’s a monster, just like him. Wants things he shouldn’t, devours it and turns it to nothing when he does.

But she deserves love too. They both need and crave it.

So, when she saves him, kills her own Mom and asks him to go with him he refuses.

He sees the betrayal and hurt and anger there. The venom when she tells him she killed her own Mom for him.

Sam lets her go, knows his love is not for her.

He has none left to give.  
—-

He can see the change in himself in the rearview mirror. The night stretches on for miles as they zoom down the black asphalt.

His eyes are dark and greedy, bags under his eyes. He looks haunted, scared but ready.

He thinks he looks a little crazy.

"Good back there, Sammy?" Dean asks.

Sam shares his hate, lets it radiate and embed itself into his brothers head. He doesn’t want his love anymore.

—-

He gets up one day, five months after the incident, hears the twins sparing outside in the lot of the empty motel.

He looks out the window with his haunted eyes and watches them.

Their lean, muscled bodies rolling all over, grunting and growling.

"Got you pinned, Jen," Dean smiles from above his twin.

It makes Sam’s skin prickle at the nick name. At the smile. At the leg between Jensens.

"Don’t mind it too much," Jensen teases back.

Sam watched it happen quickly, Dean leaning down to capture Jensens mouth hungrily.

His stomach rolls and his heart thunders in rage.

He notices that they are beautiful and don’t deserve his love.

That’s when he decides that when he graduates high school he has to leave his beautiful boys.

His beautiful men that he’ll never win.

—-

So, years and years down the road when he has a man named Crowley strapped to a chair, he’ll realize just why the man’s speech about deserving to be loved will make his brown furrow and his face contort.

Because he understands, he does. But he can’t fathom why Crowley would want anyone’s love at all.

But he understands, he does. But Crowley won’t until he’s like him.

So he continues his efforts to turn the demon human.


End file.
